Baseball humor

Why Obama reminds me of Jerry Manuel...

If you don't know, Jerry Manuel is the manager of the New York Mets, after taking over halfway through the season for Willie Randolph. Randolph was let go of the New York Mets in a pretty bad way by getting the news of his firing on a road trip to Los Angles, a very uncomfortable 3000 mile flight. Willie Randolph is a former Yankee and was part of the two most recent dynasties including in the late 70's up to the mid 90's to 2000 as a coach. He was later given the job to the Mets, who were absolutely awful. Somehow Randolph brought the Mets from the cellar of baseball to one pitch away from the World Series...alas, they did not win, to the joys of Yankee fans of course. Two seasons ago, when the Mets still had a very good team, they completely blew a 7 game lead over the Phillies with only 17 games remaining in the season, a historic collapse that put every single Met fan on Prozac and maybe shortened their lives by a few years too. Which brings me back to Jerry Manuel, who I all ready stated took Randolph's job whether it was fair or not. Now to the point, why does Obama remind me of this Manuel guy? He has a team, that he took over, that once again had another collapse coming down the last stretch of the season, the Mets not making the Wild Card due to a win by the Brewers. So pretty much Manuel was given a team with no life, no energy, no urge to win, no soul, no discernible leader, and left to clean up the messes of the owners and GM that picked a team that is about as interesting to watch as bread in a toaster. The thing is, I wanted to dislike Manuel, I wanted to hate everything about the Mets, the only good thing about Randolph being fired is now I wouldn't be worried if he'd get fired because the Mets would go 0-162 in a season. I could hate them for getting rid of Randolph, and make it seem like it was all his fault they lost, but give the credits to Jose Reyes, Carlos Delgado and David Wright if they won. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair. But, as much as I tried...I did like Manuel. He was a funny guy, he had a sense of humor to the game, other than Randolph's bleak cold attitude when he was giving an interview. Manuel was the kind of guy you could eat a hot dog with and bring fans to the seats, just sit back and here him talk. He's smart, well educated, seems to be a good person...so not the person I thought he'd be. Okay, whatever, I still disliked the Mets, just not Manuel. Just like how I like Obama. Sure Obama jokes, is smart, funny, knowledgeable, good with people, the media...but for how long? Randolph dealt with that team for 3 1/2 years, Manuel's been there for a couple months...and boy it didn't take long for him to go from a laughing, joking, chipper fella, to someone who looked like his family was killed by their rabid dog that later choked on their cat which led to the house catching of fire somehow, burning down...which killed his hamster. When you watch someone go on a podium and say the same thing over and over in the same somber voice, you think, "Geez I could do that." But when you really have to? It's not very hard to see why Randolph didn't look happy all the time, the same way Manuel looked the way he did with those boneheads after only being with them for about 90 games. The same way Obama acted during his first Press Conference. Joke now, get high blood pressure later. Bush, to all his credit, which there really isn't much of, seemed to be a pretty happy guy. At first at least. Then, slowly, but surely, he and everyone else who worked for him bled this country dry and almost destroyed it in a very short period of time. Suddenly Bush was making the same faces Randolph was, saying the same things, over and over, "Things will get better, we got a few good hits and the defense is playing all right." Who said that, Randolph or Bush? So when one man is supposed to come in and fix everything, when all their is is a big pile of crap, all they can do is laugh. Manuel, Obama, what is there really to say? After awhile anyone will get sick of shoveling crap out of a hole that was put there by someone before you. Of course I mainly blame the players for the Mets collapses, but with that I also have to blame Randolph on a certain degree, as well as I blame coaches on the Yankees. The same way it's not all Bush's fault (but a lot is). Obviously a country and a baseball team are two very different things, but when you get a shit sandwich, and you have to eat it, while taking the bites your happy exterior won't last when your interior realizes things were too screwed up, more than anyone really thought. So is there a good chance Obama a year from now won't be the happy go lucky, "Hey look everyone, we picked out a dog" President? He's gotta be serious, and there's always time for a laugh, but looking into the eyes of Manuel his first day, with so much enthusiasm, then, when the season was over...those eyes, so lost wondering how it all went wrong again. I can only hope Obama doesn't make that same expression when he realizes Bush screwed this country up way too much for anyone to fix in 4 years, subtracting the time when the right wingers waste time on simple matters like Obama didn't salute a soldier because he shook his hand instead. Because do I care if the Mets collapse the way they have the past two years? No. Not at all. In fact, I hope they do it a few more times because it's funny as hell. But do I mind if the country collapses because Obama just wasn't enough before the country goes into a severe depression? Yeah, I do. And seeing one of the most inspirational men of this new millennium look like he's a deer in headlights will be even scarier then a baseball manager who has no control of his players, verses the 260 million people that live in this country.

The Gladiator not very tough

It's crazy action month in March, (maybe because of March Madness?) but, instead of basketball there's been a lot of violent movies on TV. It must have to do with one of the coolest ever made FINALLY being on Cinemax... 300!! They've shown Ben Hur, Fight Club, Braveheart, Die Hard, Spartacus, and Gladiator, with even Passion Cove :O But while watching these films, remembering how some of the main characters die, I have to think...Maximus kind of is a weakling. He of course is in Gladiator with Russel Crowe who won Best Actor and the movie won Best Picture to everyone's surprise and embarrassment, but I think it's a damn good movie. However, if you haven't seen the movie and want to, or, if you haven't seen any of these movies and want to I will give away some spoilers, so be careful! In any case, Maximus must fight his way to Rome, impress the crowd and exact revenge. When he does get the chance, he fights the Emperor Commodus. Before they fight Commodus stabs Maximus in the back, crippling his left arm, and maybe stabbing his lung, but not sure. After the fight, he's so weak from blood lose, even though they patched it up so no one could see the blood coming out, he still dies after the battle is over! O.o I mean come on... John McClane survived 4 movies!!! William Wallace was hanged, stretched, had his intestines taken out, and was STILL alive even before they chopped his head off. It took about 20 arrows to kill King Leonidas. Spartacus was hung up on a cross, so he died eventually, though you never really see it. Tyler Durden gets his brain blown out, but he was never real anyway... I forget if Ben Hur dies, but if he did, he could have survived a little stab to the back! It's a great movie, Gladiator, and a great ending (tears in my eyes everytime >.<) but one stab and he's stumbling around? Maybe if it was more obvious where he was stabbed, or if he was stabbed during the fight with Commodus because he was hurt, that would have made sense, but I guess I'll never know. I could probably try and think of other tough guy movies where the hero dies in a lot more appropriate way, but I don't want to say Russel Crowe isn't a tough guy :P

I made out with a dragon woman

And it turns out, she was on fire the whole time! I just stubbed my toe!